You Have to Ask the Right Questions

You have to ask the right questions to get the right answers—from God or from anyone else. And you can't get the right answers for questions you never ask.

The above is why my Master Spiritual Teacher, the Rev. Dr. Bernice Osman, always emphasized that asking God all the right questions—is as important as receiving all the right answers.

Praying for what you want in life is not surrender to God—unless what you want is to always do God's Will—and to always help others do God's Will as well.

But you can't do God's Will unless you know what it is—in each and every situation and relationship you encounter—which is why the Keys Teachings emphasize learning and doing daily Receivership.

Double Checking Down the Road is Highly Recommended

It is also why the Keys Teachings tells you that you can't just set and forget a long range goal that you receive to pursue. On the contrary, double checking down the road is always advisable because people do change their minds; and what was right before may not still be so right given the present circumstances.

For only God within you actually knows the bigger picture at all times. And only God knows when kindness is cruelty and cruelty is kindness at any given time; and relative to any given person you may encounter. And only God knows when people change their minds—which they sometimes do without warning.

So when it comes to prayer, only doing prayers received from God within you at the time—is actual surrender to God.

Only such prayers carry the full power of God behind them; because God can't score a goal for you, if you don't give God the ball, and let God call all the plays.

All of the above does not mean that you shouldn't pray for what you want. But when you do, it's better to add: "in accord with God's Will," because you may not realize that what you're praying for—is not really good for you at the time.

Your Mission is to Find and Stay on the Right Path

Only wanting and doing as directed by God within you keeps you on the right path to making all of your masteries, to rebalancing all of your karmic debts, and to improving all of your relationships, step-by-step-by step, over time.

Two are one when they only and always affect themselves and others in the exact same way. You are One with God within you when you allow yourself to be guided by God through Receivership, day after day, decision after decision.

Living your life as directed by God within through Receivership is the only way to amplify God's Power to Create working through you, day after day. Thus it is the only way to become and stay an Empowered Agent of God in the physical.

Since God helps all those who help themselves, and God wants you to ask so you may receive, God helps all those who ask—and especially helps when you ask the questions that God wants you to ask. That's why surrendering to God through Receivership is always the right and most powerfully beneficial answer.

God Enjoys All of Our Spiritual Masteries

My wonderful Spiritual Master Teacher, Bernice, always used to say that she wanted to be the creation that her Creator was pleased with. She was the first person that I ever met who actually saw God as a loving, caring parent-teacher.

Like any caring human parent and teacher, God wants to help us all become the best people we can be in every area of life. That's why God answers every call we make for Help and Guidance with specific, timely information. All that we have to do to receive it—is to stop, ask, and then just listen without fear or limitation.

And just as all involved human parents are greatly uplifted when they see their children do well, God smiles whenever we make our masteries in life; especially the spiritual masteries that can help us become God's Divine Agents on Earth.

The Most Important Free-Will Choice

No one likes to be told what to do all the time. Even those who happily trade independence for being taken care of—don't want all their daily life decisions made for them. We all tend to either aggressively or passively resist giving up control—unless it is absolutely necessary at a given time.

Anyone who has ever been totally controlled in life—by an overly strict parent, an unfair boss, a domineering spouse, etc., has very likely developed a strong conscious or unconscious resistance to taking orders in general.

The above is why most people would define the word freedom as the ability to make all your decisions yourself—whether that ability was created by gaining great wealth and power (your own or through another person); by automatic rebellion against authority; or by withdrawing into isolation on a mountain top.

Why Commitments Can Be So Hard to Make

The above is why many people find commitments so hard to make and/or keep. It feels like restriction and loss of freedom; as is often felt when a person is told that they should or have to do something—like get married; go on a diet; keep a schedule—and especially stop the habits that they may still be enjoying at times.

The above is also why it's easier to commit to applying a Spiritual Teaching that promises you more control of your life—than to one that requires you to let go of control in order to make progress—as the Keys Teachings will always do by reminding you to ask God for Guidance before making choices and decisions.

Fate or Free Will or Something Else?

Actually, it is hard to say that anyone on Earth is free—not because we are all controlled by fate—because no one lives in a vacuum. No one makes all their decisions completely on their own. Every choice is motivated by something. We're all products of nature + nurture + our past responses to our experiences.

Everyone has seen himself and/or others automatically controlled at times by negative personality habits (anger, fear, martyrism, urgency, rigidity, need for attention, addiction); by authority figures (parents, experts, teachers, leaders); or by "one-size-fits-all" beliefs that weren't relevant or applicable at the time.

The Keys Teachings calls anything that can influence you more strongly than the Voice of God within you a lesser god. By the time most people even consider Spiritual Growth, they are greatly or completely controlled by all of the lesser god influences that have been within and around them up to that point in time.

That's why Keys teaches that the most important free-will choice that there is on this planet is whether you want to be inspired-protected-guided by the Voice of the One Greater God within; or motivated-limited-controlled by lesser gods.

Change My Life But Don't Tell Me What to Do 

Most people who pray want freedom from the negative experiences that they are praying about. They want God to give them more control, not less. They want God's help; but most aren't thinking of letting go of control at the time.

But the desire for freedom can become a lesser god if it becomes a resistance to asking God for guidance and direction; which is when it also becomes a block to hearing God's Voice within you (and the reason why most people can’t hear that Divine Inner Voice; and thus don’t believe that God talks to them at all).

Although most religions and spiritual teachings do preach surrender to God, most do not teach you how to do it—especially not in a way that can and does apply to every single choice and decision that must be made in a modern life. And every choice and decision does affect you, your present, and your future.

The great established religions inspire many to be as kind and positive as they can be in general—but their teachings all require obedience to "one-size-fits-all" laws—laws that were written long ago. And "one-size" does not fit all. We are all individual souls with a specific path to conscious mastery and karmic freedom.

How to Surrender to God

Surrender to God has little to do with accepting the specific teachings of any religion; and more to do with asking so that you may receive guidance from God within on how to live the most beneficial life possible on the planet, step-by-step—a life in which you care about others as much as you care about self.

But you can't take the karmically correct, most beneficial action, without using Receivership in the moment—because the best decision, and thus God's Will, always depends on the situation, the people you're dealing with, and the exact place and time in which it's all happening. Again, one-size-laws do NOT fit all.

You may be able to guess or intellectualize what you should do, but only God knows when kindness is cruelty and cruelty is kindness. Only God can tell you whether you should cut someone some slack or keep strict boundaries at the given time. The only real surrender is using Receivership to manage your life.

Thus the only real freedom is freedom from lesser god influences; which can only be created by always using Receivership to manage your life. "Thou Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me." There is no other way—modern or ancient.

Repetition is the Mother of Retention

All learning and re-learning takes repetition. Whether it's guitar playing, your role in a stage play, computer programming, hitting a baseball, telling a joke, or working on any personality habit that you want to change for the better in life.

You can never break an automatic response to any particular situation (trigger) without deciding on, learning, and then practicing, a better, more acceptable to you, and more doable, replacement response to that particular trigger.

With the right replacement choice, you just need a set schedule that you can keep, and a private place to do your practicing over time. Continue the practice for as long as it takes to make the changes permanent in all daily life situations.

Practice really does make perfect. And, it can be just as easy to create positive habits as negative ones—especially with God's Support from within in response to your Prayers and Receiverships. Remember—the only failure is giving up.

Preventive Medicine: If You Skip, You Slip

You can't be anxious and relaxed at the same time. You can't be stressed and peaceful at the same time. And relaxed and peaceful almost always handles everything and everyone better than anxious and stressed does.

Ask your significant other, your family, your friends, your employers, your employees, your co-workers, or your teammates, etc. They'll all tell you, of course, unless they're afraid of you.

If you're easily pulled from your positive center by outside events, your stress levels must be much higher than they should be; and thus they can negatively affect your health, your performance, and your relationships, over time.

If you just can't turn your mind off and relax—even when you're far away from those difficult situations and relationships—you have an even bigger challenge for your overall peace, health, and happiness over time.

But Modern Life Can Be Very Challenging

Modern life can certainly be quite challenging. That's why all actors rehearse, ballplayers practice, and candidates do dry runs of prepared speeches before they go out on stage—they are preparing to insure that they perform their best.

If you prepare yourself to handle your life better when you're home alone, and especially as directed by God within you, situations and relationships may still pressure and stress you at times—but they won't distress you—as well. 

If a situation that stresses you also distresses you—if it immobilizes you instead of mobilizing you—if it upsets you and gets you worrying rather than planning and doing—you have a bigger problem than the one you started out with.

Distress can send you into the kinds of attitudes and behaviors that can be hurtful to you and others—socially, professionally, and karmically, over time.

It can also send your body into various stress-related conditions that are no fun to go through; and that are not easily recovered from over time as well.

Preventive Medicine is Scheduled & Consistently Kept

All the above is why the Keys Teachings recommend regularly scheduled and consistently kept sessions that are between you, yourself and God—with or without a Spiritual Teacher.

Those sessions should be focused on Stress Relief, Practical Guidance, and Spiritual Growth—all of which God within you can certainly help you with through Receivership—especially over time.

Anyone who wants to be at their best as often as possible must work at it as often as possible. It is always better to prevent negative incidents and actions before they happen—than to try to fix the fallout afterwards—especially when you've been known to lose control and act negatively even once in a while.

Why You Should Remember to Ask God to Take Charge?

When you ask God to take charge of you, and to show (or tell) you what to do before you speak or act, you create your best chance of not only doing all that you do in the karmically correct way, but with the right words and tone as well.

And you are asking God to take charge of you every time you do a Surrender Meditation; every time you declare your desire for God's Will to be done; every time you ask God to free you from any and all lesser god influences; and the most effectively—every time you do and follow your Receivership.

Surrender Meditation, in particular, is the time when all of your prayers can best be answered—because it is the time when you are most completely letting go of control of your mind, body, and spirit, and thus are voluntarily giving God complete access to do as God wants therein.

Old Habits Die Hard and Often Long to Return

The longer and more consistently that you have been doing your "preventive medicine," the stronger your protection against relapse will become and stay over time.

The realization that it takes consistent work to prevent relapse of a person's worst habits is why Alcoholics Anonymous has all of their adherents continue to affirm that they are and will always be alcoholics—so that they never allow themselves to rest on their laurels.

And it is likely why the Bible writers so strongly put forth the idea that all humans are sinners (meaning that they all have the capacity to fall back into negative behaviors if they are not consistently aware and careful over time).

All the above correlates with the Sabbath principle where people are advised to take the day off from work in order to feel able to take the time to consult with God within them through prayer and contemplation.

Sabbath adherents are supposed to do the above in order to be able to review the past week and learn from all that occurred in preparation for doing better next week (ideally through changes suggested by their Receivership).

God Wants to be Our Loving Parent and Teacher

The Keys teaches that God wants to be our Loving Parent and Spiritual Teacher. Thus God wants to help us all become and stay the happiest, the healthiest, the most positive, and the most karmically correct people we can be, forevermore.

That is why God wants us all to spend some time every day in contemplation through Receivership—so that God can help us all learn and grow, serve and work, and socialize, enjoy, and experience pleasure, in the best ways possible.

God's Direction is God's Protection. And God's Guidance provides the ultimate form of Preventive Medicine because it addresses all aspects of life on Earth, spiritual, material, and practical.

Spending time each day improving the clarity of your connection to God within you (Receivership) is the most valuable tithing to yourself, to your loved ones, to God, and to the Universe, that you can do on Earth with your time.

How You Respond Shows Who You Are Now

To avoid repeating the negative past, just ask God to help you create a better future, step by step by step, through Receivership... in response to all specific situations... in response to all relationships... and in response to life in general.

Is it God or a lesser god?

The Keys Teachings believe that prophecy (hearing God's voice from within), which it calls Receivership, is not reserved for a chosen few. The Keys teaches that Receivership is for all those who ask and expect God to answer verbally.

But most people have spent their entire lives believing that God is too busy, or that they are too insignificant, for God to talk to them directly about their daily choices and decisions—so they never actually ask for specific, verbal guidance.

They may pray for their lives to change for the better, but they will practically never ask for specific, step-by-step guidance to help make it happen.

Most of those who do ask and expect an answer from God, don't expect it to come verbally. So they just look for a significant sign or feeling that they can interpret as God's Guidance; and then they follow it and hope for the best.

The Keys Teachings believe that God does take an active interest in our daily lives—because God wants to help us become and stay the best companions we can be for each other, and for God.

And the only way to do that is to offer specific, verbal guidance to all those who ask for it. That's why the Keys emphasizes learning and doing Receivership.

You Don't Need to Be Intuitive to Develop Receivership

The Keys Teachings believe that even those who were not born "psychic" or "intuitive" can develop accurate Receivership from God within them. They just have to find the right guidance, and then work at it, consistently and patiently.

And they also have to identify, and work to master, all that can get in the way of their ability to consciously and verbally perceive God's Voice from within them.

The Keys Teachings call anything that can influence you above and before the Voice of God within you—a lesser god. Lesser gods limit, alter, and even block what you can and do perceive in life.

And they can do the same to whatever you think you have received from the One Greater God at a given time as well.

The Common (and Less Common) Lesser Gods of Earth Life

One example of the power of a lesser god is that an oversensitive person will likely see correction as hurtful and critical; while someone less sensitive might see the same words, delivered in the same way, as constructive and realistic.

Perception is always altered by pre-programmings—and lesser gods are the ultimate pre-programmings. They are the influences that become your habits.

The most common lesser gods of Earth life include your automatic fears, needs, beliefs, and behaviors; and all the authority figures you tend to automatically defer to and/or follow (parent, teacher, spouse, ancient religious writings). 

They include all the people and things you can't live without (your addictions); and all the people and things you can't stand to be around (your aversions).

And for some people their lesser gods may include the discarnate personalities (earthbound spirits) who are within or around them; and thus able to influence them in various ways as well.

Note: Stress and all of your stressors are lesser gods—because the automatic stress reactions they trigger can all too often change how you act and behave in all kinds of situations and relationships—and most often not for the better.

All Lesser Gods Have Voices

Were you listening to the Voice of God, the voice of fear, the words of your abusively critical parent, or the selfish projections of a discarnate personality with its own agenda, when you decided to skip that job interview yesterday?

It is important to be able to recognize, identify, and disempower all lesser god influences right when they pop up and try to take over—because you cannot do God's Will, and thus the right thing for yourself and others, if you don't know if and when you are being influenced by a lesser god at a given time.

The ability to have Crystal Clear Receivership, and thus be able to hear God's Voice exactly as projected, can only be developed over time by mastering (and thus quieting) all the lesser god voices that have ever controlled you in this life.

Note: If the inner voice you hear is negative, fearful, angry, abusive, or violent, or if it ever tells you to hurt anyone for any reason, it is NOT God.

The Surrender Antidote to Lesser God Influence

All lesser god habits are strengthened each time you give in to their influence. Thus, those same habits can be disempowered, layer by layer, by resisting their influence—and by going to God first in all of the particular situations that have ever triggered those lesser god habits in the past.

That's why the Keys teaches that consistency of surrender is your antidote to lesser god influence. And using Receivership to run your life is a very tangible act of spiritual and material world surrender.

It demonstrates a sincere desire to do God's Will, and thus serve God and all life, before all else; which certainly does get God's attention, and God's Help.

Every time you use Receivership, you strengthen the habit of going to God first before allowing lesser gods to take over; and you also improve the accuracy of your Receivership itself—because doing a Receivership is the most powerful way of asking God to take charge of you.

All the above is why it is as important to know when you are NOT hearing God's Voice—as it is to know when you are. Otherwise, you may very well be serving a lesser god without realizing it.

Developing Crystal Clear Receivership

Many beginning Keys students worry about getting Receivership wrong and thereby hurting themselves and others, materially and karmically, by using it. This often causes them to avoid trying the process—even if they believe in it.

But since the only way to develop Crystal Clear Receivership is to use it in daily life—avoidance is not the answer. Getting trained and monitored by someone who already has and lives by it, and who helps others develop it, is that answer.

Receivership has a learning curve; as does mastering your lesser gods. God knows that. So every sincere spiritual student should approach learning and doing Receivership without self-consciousness or fear of making a mistake.

If you act on what you believe is God's Word, but later find that you received incorrectly, you won't create karmic debt by doing so—as long as you have been and continue to show a sincere desire to surrender control to God in all things.

You show a sincere desire to get it right by asking God to take charge of you; to remove all lesser god influences from you in general; and to show you what you should do, and how and when to do it, throughout your daily life, over time. 

Note: Having someone farther along to check and monitor your Receivership is beneficial; and it can speed up your development—as long as that teacher keeps reminding you that going to God for guidance through Receivership is the goal.

Mastery Prayer Work = Confession + Correction

When you decide to prepare and work a Mastery Prayer List for yourself you are recognizing that you need God's Help to change for the better.

When you actually make the list, you are identifying what you need to work on, and in essence, are making a confession.

You are making a confession because you are consciously acknowledging all that what you believe you shouldn't be thinking, saying, or doing, but still are.

In essence, you are listing the negative, lesser god, personality habits that you still need to work on and master in daily life; and you thereby create a focus and a blueprint for your ongoing spiritual growth and freedom over time.

At Home Preparation for On-the-Go Mastery

Working Mastery Prayer List(s) at home prepares you to resist all your negative personality habits in action, in all the daily life situations and relationships that have been able to trigger them—which is the real point and benefit of doing it.

You work a Mastery Prayer List by reading the entries as a sincere declaration that you want God to free you from the negative, lesser god influence that each one represents (negative beliefs, thoughts, feelings, habits), once and for all.

By doing so, you are putting your time and energy into creating positive change within yourself; and thus are trying to lovingly self-correct with God's Help.

By combining Mastery Prayer List work with consistent Guidance Counseling from God within you through Receivership—you put yourself on the express path to Conscious Mastery, Divine Service, and Karmic Freedom on Earth.

How to Master Performance Fears

One of the main jobs our brain has been tasked with is to keep us alive. That is why practically everyone was born with the ability to feel fear. Those who walk around this planet without being able to recognize danger aren’t going to be walking around it for very long.

The above is why it makes perfect biological sense that every sane person would automatically feel fear when being locked in a cage with a hungry tiger. The fear triggers the fight or flight response which creates physical changes that prepare you to save your life. Your brain controls all that, not your mind.

But your brain was not given the job of protecting your emotional self-image. Brains are physical. They can’t get insulted, nor do they fear rejection. It is the mind, the spirit, the person inside the body that does. The mind can affect the brain when it is upset, just as the brain can affect the mind and body when it is "upset"— which is when the brain senses pain or physical vulnerability.

And Then the Mind Tells the Brain

But, it is only the self, the person inside the body vehicle, who can be made to feel vulnerable by social situation created—self-image concerns. It is the mind that tells the brain, “We've got to get out of here” when social-self-image fears are triggered (i.e.: failure, rejection, embarrassment, humiliation).Thus, depending upon how threatening the particular social situation is to the mind (person), it's decision to escape may cause the brain to trigger the fight-or-flight response—which accounts for why and how social fears can lead to all kinds of uncomfortable, unwanted, even overwhelming, physical changes.

Fear > Dread > Avoidance > Missing Out

Public speaking, asking for a date, auditioning for a part, interviewing for a job, taking a test, among others, are all situations that have been known to trigger varying degrees of performance failure fear within physically fit, professionally capable, and otherwise emotionally secure, people.

The scale of the possible intensities of such fears runs from mild discomfort, to dread, to avoidance—and at times all the way to panic and difficulty breathing; depending on the person and the particular task at hand.

Fear when your life is actually threatened is always helpful as noted above; and especially so when it mobilizes you into right action at the right time. Fear when your life is not actually threatened is never helpful—unless it mobilizes you into right action, at the right time; and over time as well.

Overcoming Reactions to Fear

Just like it would be pointless to tell someone waking up alone in a cage with a hungry tiger not to fear—it is pointless to tell someone with a big fear of public speaking (or of asking for a date, etc.) to just “go out there and get over it.”

Once you have a strong fear-based reaction to being asked to do something (whether you're asked to do it by yourself or by others), you have accepted the expectation that if you try it, something bad will happen (i.e.: rejection, failure, ridicule, etc.). If that wasn’t the case, you wouldn’t need to, or want to, avoid it.

Imagining the Worst

Most people who avoid the experiences they fear often imagine exactly what it is they fear happening from time to time (rejection for a date, not thinking of anything to say at a party, sputtering or freezing when making a speech in public). Others may not imagine those unfortunate outcomes, and thus may not consciously know exactly why they avoid, they just do.

Research confirms that the same parts of the brain that are activated when you imagine an experience are activated when you actually go through it. Thus, fear that grows into avoidance can be counteracted through giving a person a reason to expect, and therefore imagine, going through the experience(s) that they fear successfully.

An Organized Path to Conscious Mastery

The Keys Teachings suggest two methods to help you accomplish the above. The first one is to work a relevant Mastery Prayer List that specifically targets the fear(s) that you want to and need to overcome.

You work a Mastery Prayer list by asking God to disempower the reinforcement energy behind the fears that are on the list. Doing so is literally asking God to help you master your habitual fears by reprogramming your physical brain and your sub-conscious mind.

Each time you work a Mastery Prayer List, you are asking God to both take charge of you now and to prepare you to better handle all the situations and circumstances of your life in the future.

The second method, which the Keys Teachings calls Prepare and Practice, combines what most therapies refer to as Systematic Desensitization and Roleplay. It is designed to help you imagine more positive outcomes when thinking about situations that have been difficult for you in the past.

Since Actions Speak Louder than Words

Actions really do speak louder, and they program your brain and sub-conscious mind more strongly, than words. That's why prayers alone are most often not enough to help you master your fears—while you're still facing them in life.

Prayers move you one step forward. But, each time you allow fear to control your mood and behavior—you take two steps back. That's why it's harder to feel brave, when you don't act brave—than to act brave, when you don't feel brave.

The Wisdom of a Step by Step Approach

Systematic Desensitization is a step-by-step approach that helps you master your fears by consistently diminishing your expectation of suffering when going through the situations that trigger them.

If you're afraid of public speaking, you arrange to speak publicly in a relatively safe to you situation—such as in front of your significant other; or in front of three of your most trusted friends—who all serve as your home-based audience.

You make the speech you’ve prepared in front of that small, but safe, audience. Then they support you with realistic, but kindly worded suggestions. You then implement and practice those positive changes in your next speech.

When you feel ready, you make your next speech in front of a slighter larger, and potentially a little less friendly, audience. You then implement the advice you get from them (or from helpful observers you placed there). Making those changes gives you even more reason to expect to do better next time; and so on.

Preparation + Practice = Improved Performance

Thus, after a few successful public speaking engagements, your competence and confidence will be increased, and your fear diminished—all because your string of successes gave you the ability to imagine success instead of failure next time.

The above methods can help you master almost all of your performance related fears, one by one, simply by increasing your expectation of performing better in the situations that have in the past only triggered fear and avoidance.

If you're afraid of asking for a date, you can successfully use the above approach at home. Instead of writing a speech, you just write an “asking someone out on a date” scene; and then perform it with a trusted help-mate; get feedback, then apply the feedback, and then practice the new method, and so on.

Soon you will be ready to move on to actual potential dating partners; and will likely perform better each time you do—because systematic preparation and practice always improves performance, at least to some degree, over time.

Impersonality Makes Learning Easier

The above is why all sports prepare their rookies in minor leagues—where it's safer for them and the players to take risks on poor performance. It's why teams hire coaches, schedule practice, and play exhibition games that don't count in the standings—all to better train and prepare their new players for the big time. 

All the above is why the Keys Teachings so strongly emphasize that becoming impersonal is one of the most important qualities to develop for both spiritual and material world success. Oversensitivity and fear of being judged often leads to premature giving up; and the only failure in life is giving up (or not trying).

You Miss Every Shot You Never Take***

In summary, the Keys Teachings recommends preparing yourself for mastery with God Take Charge Prayers, Mastery Prayer List work, Receivership, and the rewriting of your scripts on how to approach difficult, challenging situations.

Once you're armed with the right guidance, and have decided on the changes to make, the practice part should be continued until all of the replacement choices actually become your default attitudes and behaviors—the habits you go to even when you're stressed.

Preparation and practice in daily life is the path to positive change. Combine it with Receivership directed choices and decisions—and it becomes the path to Impersonality, Conscious Mastery, and Karmic Balance in the physical, as well.

*** - Quote from Wayne Gretsky, Hall of Fame Hockey Star

Since All the World Is Actually a Stage

Since the World Is a Stage, Don't Let Fear Win

If you want to be brave, and be seen as such, you must act bravely—even if you don't feel it inside at the time. If you want brave (cool, patient, flexible, caring, supportive) to become your relating style and reputation, you should ask God to help you become so, but you should also prepare yourself through study and practice, at home and away.

Even if you're facing fears that have gotten the better of you in the past, fear of public speaking, fear of asking for a date, fear of meeting new people, with the right body language, facial expressions, and confident, friendly manner, you'll make a positive, if not perfect, first impression, as you try to stretch yourself beyond those limitations.

You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a First Impression

How you present yourself, whether warm or cold, present or distant, confident or self-conscious, is how you will be seen by those you meet for the first time. Even without you saying a word, your first impression will then become your backstory—who you are until you prove differently.

And whether you believe it or not, your actions always speak louder than your words. If you stand confidently, and smile and appear approachable, people will believe you have something to be confident about—and they will also see you as nice and interested, and therefore interesting. If you slump, and look kind of worried, they'll notice that too and respond accordingly.

There is a great deal of research supporting the idea that your inner thoughts and feelings affect your body language; and that your body language affects your inner thoughts and feelings. It is not inauthentic to present your best self to the people you meet for the first time. We all try do it, so you might as well become good at it.

Prayer Without Practice Doesn't Create Permanent Change

The right prayers (i.e.: Keys Mastery list work) can prepare you to make the needed masteries and changes. But prayer without practice isn't enough to create permanent positive change in any area of life—because your actions program your brain and your sub-conscious mind more strongly than words.

Fortunately, all the above recommended ways of presenting yourself can be learned. It just requires research, study, preparation, and again, lots of practice. For habits can only be built through repetition. If you don't put in the effort, you don't really want it, or don't really believe you can do it. Either way, if you skip the planning and effort, you are shortchanging yourself.

Practice > Competence > Confidence = Expertise

Every champion in every sport has had to be trained or retrained, and has had to practice off the court, in order to get better on the court in actual games. All improvement in any area of life requires learning new techniques—and then taking the time to become good at them. The more you practice off the court, the better and more confident at them you will become on the court.

But if you never actually go out and push yourself past your limitations on the court, i.e.: in front of an audience, while talking to a potential dating partner, meeting new people, etc.—you will never grow past those limitations and will likely keep yourself from living a more enjoyable, more successful life over time.

Pushing yourself through your past limitations does require a good amount of willpower and determination to get started. But the payoff is almost always worth it. After all, you miss every shot you never take. And there is no real rejection but self-rejection. So why reject the possibilities before you even try?

You Can Speak Nicely & Firmly at the Same Time

As my Spiritual Master Teacher Bernice used to say, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Be caring, be nice, be direct; and your message will surely come across.

Speaking angrily projects hot, controlling energy that the people you are talking to can actually feel—most often making them angry too, even if they don't show it at the time—and even if they do know that they made the mistakes.

That's why it's always better to let go of your anger before you correct anyone, not after. Otherwise, all that they feel, and thus remember, is your anger, not your words, and certainly not your good intentions.

Speaking angrily may get a child to comply, especially when you are the child's parent or authority figure; but obedience out of fear will almost always lead to alienation and rebellion over time.

And as many people have already learned, people may not always remember what you said—but they will always remember how you made them feel.